i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Still dying that you shit outside
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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