You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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