Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
