Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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