five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
