after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
