I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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