she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize