My brain says no but my pants say off.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
