Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
