I just cut my nipple shaving
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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