I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
