Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
