Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
