escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
