I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
its liver damage thursday
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
