i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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