I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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