Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
