Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
