I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
