I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
