i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
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