She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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