I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
