would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Randomize
