i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I wish you could order shots online.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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