no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
