I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
