laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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