I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
