Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
