i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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