never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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