11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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