they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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