I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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