I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
