that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
