Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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