i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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