Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
