I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize