Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
