I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
