I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
