my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
