You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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