i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
