my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
