Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
