My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
