i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
