I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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