I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Randomize
