Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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