You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
