wanna go halves on a baby?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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