It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
my shit smells like andre
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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