Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
