remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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